Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers, grandfathers, and fathers-to-be. To all the big brothers, father figures, and uncles. To all the other brothers, cousins, coaches, and mentors. To all the men out there who have made an impact in someone else’s life, who have tried to be a positive role model. I wish each and every one of you a happy father’s day.
I have been blessed to have many wonderful men in my life. Men who have shown me what a man should act like. Men who have tried me with respect. Men who have shown me that they care. And I want to thank all of them.
I work with men in program in a jail. So many of them have chosen their drugs, gang, crimes, or other behaviors over their children. Eventually they get to a point where they realize what’s happened. Some of them are lucky enough to be able to be in their children’s lives, while others are fighting with social services.
I’ve seen the men break down because they have no clue how to help their child. Men who act tough and have no problem starting a fight, lost because they can’t use their fists to protect their children from everything.
Some people would say that these me aren’t fathers. That spending most of your life behind bars keeps you from being a father. And there is truth to that. But being physically present doesn’t make you a father.
Fathers make mistakes, like we all do. What matters is what you do next? I’ve read a lot about the impact of an absent father on children is. But there are so many fathers that are trying to get back into their children’s lives. Sometimes it is too late to be the father you want to be. Instead you settle into another role in their lives.
Fathers are important. Fathers do so much for their children. But remember that there is life beyond your kids living at home. One of my clients stayed out of jail for years because he was focusing on his daughter. Trying to be a good dad and helping her get through school. The moment she graduated and didn’t need him in the same way, he lost his purpose. He started back to drinking and is in jail again.
Remember that while being a father is a significant part of your purpose, it is only a portion of it.
I wasn’t planning on making this about non-present fathers, but this is what came out. I have more, but trouble accessing the internet created some problems. But I can no longer use that excuse. I literally just got internet back. So no more excuses…
Anyhoo, I will be posting either Wednesday or Sunday about our Heavenly Father.
Until then, stay lovely.