Words From the Lonely Writer

I’m sitting here in a cafe near my apartment trying to figure out what to write for this week. Everytime I thought about it this week I kept coming up with nothing. I have things to write about and I should look at my list of topics, but I literally just thought of that. And those notes are on my computer in my apartment and I don’t want to wait until tomorrow to start this. I wanted to write this today.

But one thing that is coming to mind is loneliness. I was just googling “online writing communities.” Writing is somewhat of an isolated activity. Think about it, you don’t really need someone to look over any of your writing as you’re writing it. No one looks at my posts until I post them. That gets lonely.

I joined a meetup group, but I’m not sure if and when I plan to go to the group’s writing sessions. It would be nice to write with others, but I still think it would be somewhat lonely. In my opinion, feeling lonely with others is worse than feeling lonely by yourself.

I’m not here to write about me feeling lonely because overall I’m not…mostly. I’m writing because it came to mind how awful it is to feel lonely when around people. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has felt this. It just got me thinking about how people tend to handle this.

As with every emotion, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to handle them. Sometimes people withdraw more into themselves, creating even more loneliness. I don’t think people realize it. That they might be creating their own loneliness. If you think others don’t care or notice you, you might make yourself more invisible. Or if you’re unsure of yourself, you can make yourself seem insignificant.

You can create a story in your head and try to play it out. There are a number of things that could lead to your isolation that is of your own doing. But sometimes it’s not. I mean, right now, I don’t fit in. Isolation can be real when everyone around you is speaking another language. (There are a lot of people from Ethiopia and other countries in my neighborhood.) But even in this isolation, I can choose what to do with it. What I do is under my control.

I’m not quite sure the moral of this post. Let’s see: loneliness sucks, don’t self-isolate, and find community. I think that works.

Next week is Father’s Day. I have something in mind for that. But every so often I think we need something less counselor-like. Sometimes, you just need to write words however they want to come. Though, if I’m being honest, I write like that most weeks…with a sprinkle of counselor thrown in for good measure.

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