The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18
(This post is long and I’m pretty sure I started rambling somewhere. I also refuse to go back and reread this anytime soon. So if you get tired of reading this, I’ve put the main point of the post in bold. It’s all the way at the bottom.)
Sorry I didn’t post last week. It was pure laziness. But this week I want to look at friendship. It’s been on my mind some this week and then that was the topic at church today.
If we go back to the beginning, to Genesis, we see that God created the heavens and the earth, day and night, the birds, fish, and all the animals. He also created man and woman. Prior to creating Eve, Genesis 2:18 (posted above) happened. “It is not good for man to be alone.” I think that regardless of your faith, most people will agree that it’s not good to be alone.
By being alone I don’t mean being single or having time to yourself. There’s nothing wrong with either of those things. There is something wrong with not having people in your life, not having community.
Typically, from the time we’re born we’re around people. We tend to live with a family, go to school with other people, and spend time with friends. We encounter others almost everywhere we go.
during the sermon today, my pastor mentioned how we sometimes fall into friendships, which got me thinking about my own friendships that have formed that way. You go to school and you end up falling into friendships because you take the same electives, have the same major, live in the same dorm, or some other reason that doesn’t require you to really get to know the person. At work, you fall into friendships because you both can’t stand your company or your desk are next to each other. It’s not true of all friendships but sometimes you look at the people you consider your friends and wonder how you became friends.
It’s not true of all friendships but sometimes you look at the people you consider your friends and wonder how you became friends. Making friends, intentionally, can be hard. As you grow older, it seems like you have to go out of your way more to find people you like.
At least, that’s my problem. I have certain values that I’m not willing to compromise. And I have certain things that I know I can’t be around. I was talking to people at work over that last week and realized this. I mean, I knew it before, but have you ever really taken the time to look at the things you want in a friendship and the things you know you can’t tolerate?
We need to be choosy with our friends. Be kind to everyone, but everyone shouldn’t be your friend. Too often the word friend is used to describe anyone you talk to. I mean, people have hundreds of friends on facebook. That’s ridiculous. Are all of those people really friends? Do you even know them?
Ok, I feel like I’m somewhat (or very) far from my point. We need true connections. We need to go beyond the shallow topics. Talk about real life. Share some values. You don’t want your friends to be exactly like you, but also want people who you can relate to. You want people in your life who will respect your differences as well.
But remember, you have to be able to do the same for your friend. Friendship isn’t one-sided. When God said that it’s not good for man to be alone, he wasn’t just talking about being physically alone. Friendship is about…intimacy. Being able to share emotionally, psychologically, recreationally, are just some examples of what intimacy looks like in those relationships. You have different friends to do different things with, and that’s okay.
The important thing is to have people in your life who know you, respect you, and care about you. Friends challenge you at times. They don’t just go along with everything. You need real people in your life. Remember that some people are only in your life for a short period of time. That doesn’t mean that person wasn’t a friend. It means that person played their part in your life. They may come back into your life at another point. They might not. Either way is okay. We grow as people and our friendships need to grow now.
I’m asking myself now whether the work friendships I’ve fallen into can grow into real friendships and whether I want them to. I’m not great at making real friends. Since finishing school, I tend to stay to myself. That contributes to me getting depressed at times. I’m honestly an old lady, sitting at home knitting, crocheting, cross-stitching, reading, writing. I mean, I do some things not associated with an old lady… blogging’s not associated with old lady’s right?
I want to be picky about who I spend my time with. I find that when I spend time with the “wrong people” (for lack of a better term), it tends to feel life draining. When I spend time with people who I care about and the feeling is mutual, it tends to be life giving. I don’t know. I’m blabbing now. I should really stop writing because I feel like very little of this post is making sense. I really shouldn’t rush through writing blog posts at night.
Point of the post: “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other’s gold. A circle is round. It has no end. That’s how long I want to be your friend.” Oh, the good old days. Making friends in Girl Scouts. Anyways, make friends. But chose your friends wisely. Build up your friendships with those you trust. Don’t be afraid to share who you are with the people you trust.
I hope all you lovelies fill your lives with other lovely people.